The only thing that stops me from praising God is finger nails that get to long, then I wait five mintues and I am good to go. I love being in his presence, it gives me so much joy, and it hurrys the healing of my heart. Not that I am rushing God, we just focus on him ever so much more in those times of worship. I could feal my heart being touched and my mind focusing in, and the joy welling up in me. (is welling a word..oh well! :) (Welling: 1 moving upwards, growing in horizontal direction. 2 overflowing from within.-Travis's Dictionary of thought) (Now its a real word)...anyways.
This is a night off from work for me, tomorow night is another one. I love having free time, but now I have so much in comparison to yesterday and monday...up till 1:30 - 2 doin homework after working and chatten. I have a lil homework, and at nine I am going to go join some of my soccer buddys at the gym and school the old forin fellers...they are fast for 40 to 60 years old....wow!
This free time is good though. I like to think when I do nothing. I was thinking about what has happened in my life these past two months, and how God has challenged me to surrender everything I am and have to Him. Some things were really hard to give up, some were not. And why I held on to those litle things even though I knew what they did to my relationship with the fahter I know not. But some of the 'bigger' things that were holding me back, I didnt even know or realize, some I even thought were good. Some were good, they just did not benifit my relationship with God, and therefore were of no use to Him.
"Michelle, I learned so much about living for God and purity that I could write a book from our past three years. We challenged each other as well as hindered one another at times, but not with the intent to do so." It was hard to talk with her, and to say it was over to one another, it hurt so much....it stills hurt some, and it will for a long while I think....but God is healing as we speak. It was so neat to hear how God was speaking similar thigns in to her life. How he had been telling her he wanted all of her aswell. It was neat to know that we had both got on the phone sunday night knowing that if it was really God, it was over tonight....the neatness however and the amazment of what God was dooing did not drown out the hurt. And I am glad for that. We must always have every part of our life in the fathers hands, dieing to self daily, and surrendering our lives entirely to him, so he may use our lives and the intriacate parts our lives, like talents and what not, to further his kingdom.
Thanx Father for all You've done for me.
Later friends,
Trav
6 comments:
v. welled, well·ing, wells
v. intr.
To rise to the surface, ready to flow: Tears welled in my eyes.
To rise or surge from an inner source: Anger welled up in me.
Well, Travis's Dictionary was pretty close to Dictionary.com. I know from experience that deep stuff takes a long time to heal. And that's okay. God can teach us so much along the way. Surrending to God is so worth it. One thing that confuses me though....you said you wouldn't take hold of anything that would have to be given up. I think that would mean not to love because as you love people they hold a special place in your heart. Family, friends......what if someday they are taken from this world??.....does that mean that you should never take hold or love them with what you can give....not as much as you love God of course....but to not hold back. Say a man has a wife who has cancer....and she dies....he has to let go of her because she is gone from this life. Does that mean he should have never taken hold of her or let his heart love her...we can deal with whatever come our way with God. I dont'know if this is making any sense at all. i don't know. let me know....
Trav,
It takes so much courage to step up to the plate and listen to what God is asking of you. I am impressed and proud of you. I am proud to call you and Michelle my friends and I know that will not change no matter what the circumstance. Things like this are so hard, but when handled with care and given the time God will heal you both and just as you have said He has already begun. I hope that everything is going good. I pray that you continue to seek the Lord's face and that He will bless you abundantly for your willing heart. If you need to talk or just vent at all Trav I am here to listen. Talk to you later and be blessed/Jennie
Its not that I will never love again, I will, I plan on having a wife and a family, I love the family I have, and I would have a terrible time getting over one of them passing. What I ment by not taking hold something that will need to be surrendered was things that are not of God. My relationship was awsome, and I am sure it happened for a reason. My craving to sit in front of TV and catch my favourite shows is not from God, its those times God wants me to be with Him doing what he needs of me or just being minsiterd to or worshiping.
Those are the kinds of things I dont want to become attached to. I dont want to be held back by a decision to persue something that is outside of Gods will. If I due, I will no doubt be attached to it and I will have a hard time letting go. Do you understand now.
Like I said at the end of my blog, God may even ask us to give up the things he has put in our lives in the past. Those things have served there purpose and we may still hold on to them. We as Christians must always be in constant convo with God being sure to hear what he is saying and asking of us. Be sure we are actauly surrendering all things to God. Not always in the sense that those parts of our lives are gone after we surrender them, but they are now in Gods hands and he may use them or toss them as he will's.
But now I see my flaw in the Blog...I will edit as to solve the confusion.
Sorry, I was being kind of insensitive. I knew you probably didn't mean something like that but I wasn't sure and it kind of worried me that's all. I wish I could've met Michelle at camp this summer because I know she has to be an awesome girl. And I know God heals us with time too....He's slowly doing it in me....it's taking its' time though. Im'still praying for you
Your Friend,
Leah
Trav, it sounds like you are truly surrendering your life over to God. Which is awesome, so many times we say things to God and don't act on them. I pray that you will always give it to God NO MATTER WHAT and that you will never be tempted on anything else. Always stand strong and firm in your faith. Know God is there in every valley and mountain. As you said it doesn't matter what kind of mood we are in we still need to praise God because really, we have all we need with Jesus dieing on the cross for our sins, honestly there is nothing else that matters. Other than sharing that news with the world. I could go on but I won't. Keep on living your life for God, I'm glad to know someone like you trav, you're real to your faith, its awesome.
Hey Cuz,
The more of me I give up, not suppress but actually get rid of, The more He shines through. God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Think on that for a bit. I would rather be opposed by...everyone else on the planet than God. I do not want to be in opposition to God. What a bad place to be.
So, the more of me I surrender, the better I become. For Him. For His purposes. For His plans.
He must increase and I must decrease. The Christian life and the call to all believers wars against our nature. Daily dying to self, sacrificing our wants and desire to him as our spiritual acts of worship. OUCH, it hurts good!
Now, nowhere does it say we can't have stuff and people in our lives. Just that we can't love and desire them more than God. We must have nothing we could not give up immediately when called upon by God. I have found that he has never asked me to get rid of something/someone without replacing with better. It's the God I serve. He knows more about living than I do. I need to always remember that.
Ciao Cuz,
Pastor Jason Sheppard
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