Annoyed Yet? (Warning: This may be a waste of your time to read.....there is another bellow it.... but who am I to stop you from reading!)

I am. This is dumb, Im not tired, why did I even go to bed. I lie there resltess as my mind dreams uncontrollably. Racing through my thoughts, disgusting. I pray against such stupid things. I do not want to be awake right now. Why am I, why am I unable to sleep God? I feel sick in the spirit, why am here tonight? Do I not have to be awake in the morning. Surely there is a purpose in this inabillity to sleep.

I dont understand how this is supposed to work. I'd sooner tune my drum set or blast my stereo then do nothing. Sadly that would be unacceptable, because I am the only one who cannot sleep. God is awake, He is here with me, but why God am I awake? Do You bring me from my drowziness, why am I awake? I wish I could cry, that would some how improove all of this you know? I am so confused. I know I can do with out it, sleep. But what purpose is there in my absence from the land of rest. Should I make my way back to my knees? Or let my guitar snuggle into my arms and be warmed as I play another song for You God? I would. But is it what You want?

Am I so foolish that I do not see the simplness of this, or is this at all simple? Do I sound annoyed...really Im not, I do not become irritated so easily, angry? No, I have not known anger for many years. Why am I so peaceful, really my thoughts are a hurricane. My logic is not so smooth at this hour. I can not figure this out on my own. There is no crow above my door, there is no knocking at the window, there is nothing here that should disturb me. Demon? I think not. A demon would know better than this, it would not be able to stand the name of God so present. So, what is it that awakens me. Am I to minister to some other lost soul, there is no one on this side of the planet that I could speak to....they are all asleep!

Am I entering in to another spell of thirst? I am thristy God. I would drink if I were offered a cup. I'd bathe in the river of Your spirit, not just drink from it. I would allow my flesh to disolve, then these thoughts would not be so ramped, these dreams so brutal. Yes my waking dreams. Without sleep I am gone, to dream yes, but ne'er to be peaceful in such a state. A day dream, no, I could wake form one of those. I hope no one reads this, it would waste your time you know. Is that all I am dooing, randomly speaking, desireing to break at any moment, and this only a way to pass the time. I would rather listen to clanking and clamouring of this key board than a clocks slow and graceful tick...tock...tick...tock...that would truly drive me mad...No I have not lost myself yet. I would seem crazy though. But again I tell you, there is no raven above my door, nor crow. There is no lost Lenore, this is not "forever more." A pendulem might ease my time this night. I would not desire such a death, I do not desire death, I desire to see all of this earth in eternity when my card is up, or when the trumpet sounds. Death will not help me there. I choose to follow you God. Should I find my way to my knees?

"A true warrior does not do battle with fists or casted metal. A true warior does use a weapon of carnage nor gore. A true warrior does not shoot another man. A true warrior may be found upon his knees, praying, and a bible in hand." Me? Or was it another who spake this quote in my ear. Was it similar to another. Did it follow anothers melody. I know not of these things. I only type to the rythem of this clamouring and clanging key board.

What is this, a rant? I do not rant. I do sit awake at three in the morning and vent. What have I to vent but random thoughts and unanswered questions..... What was that? That noise there behind me, dare I look for it, for the one who would cause this tingling in my spine, this shiver. Than what if I find it, stare it in the eye and ask what it seeks..... I care not for foolish thoughts Travis.....meh, it was no doubt the simple noise of pine and frost as they dance this night in droping temperatures. As they mingle to the tune of stars. Did you know the stars do actualy have a music coming from them? It would be neat wouldn't it..."Symphony of the Stars" Writen and composed by God...Id pay to see that. Then again, God paid for us didn't He. A free show folks, what fool would pass that up, not I. I would 'save' the time to be there, rather God has saved me to be there. God you are awsome.

Am I troubled, no. Am I plagued by something of the flesh, no...poor Job. Am I unable to make it to my bed, no...I do not desire to be there, only to know the Father and sleep. How long can I do this, how long will it take for my wrists to feel the burn, for my fore arms to cramp up. Is that all this is, a race against the flesh? Travis Vs. Carpo Tunnel, ha, I think not. That would be a foolish race, we all know how weak the flesh is. Surely I could not win upon my own strength. I would almost say I've got God in the pits (racing terminology) but that would be a foolish thing, only to have him when I need a tune up. In the passenger seat...forgive for thinking so, but thats a dumb bumper sticker, God ought to be driving! I bet he'd be awsome in a nascar race....In third Buddy is falling behind, second Other Feller cant keep up, and first its Jesus with the checkered flag!!! Mean while everyone else is finishing they'er first lap! Ha ha, my God wins!

I still do not waver, I am not tired, nothing is keeping me here, why do I stay? There is no raven at my window, there is no crow upon my door. The fire does not burn low and the final embers cast shadows tha dance upon the floor...but there is that noise again, and the tingle in my spine, and the sudden tears in my eyes. Who goes there?...who would be so foolish as to reply? The fealing does not past. I am safe, I am pertected, no harm can come against me. I dont not fight with flesh and blood but with the spiritual darkness's and the powers of this world? Its true, my fight is not with man, nor myself, nor nature. But with the accuseser of the breathern, that forked tounged idiot we all know of. Would that not make English class more interesting, if they threw another conflict catagory in, the fourth I suppose it would be. People of God Vs. The Devil. Ha ha, that'd make things at school more interesting. Ofcourse first we would have to lift the ban on the bible I think, is there one here, of this I know not. Not in this library, but there are schools in Canada that classify the bible as hate literature?? Oh, thats what that means. "God gave his only begoten son TO DIE FOR US, so that we might not die but have eternal life....abundant life!!" Sorry, thats the TraV translation...but we can all see how the bible is hate literature?..thats foolishness! But am I offended by it greatly.... these are only sign's that God is dooing His thing and its working, isn't it?

Still there is one question that lingers, why am I awake? Simply to write all this so you can have a good laugh tomorow, please do laugh, if there was that much good that came of this waste of time, than from that I would be more convinced it was no longer a waste of time.

The End.

I really can not wait till grade 12 is done, my last act as a student of RDPC will be the canoe trip. I will travel four days over nealry 4o km of water and river for the sake of fun!! It will be a blast, I just hope I can find another excellent canoe! I had one last year, I passed other conoers when I stoped padelling, no thanks to Mae!! Your awesome Mae. It was her dads canoe, very nice. Then its off to Simon House Bible Camp for a few weeks, how many I will be there I dont know. My family wants to go to Newfoundland, visit and what not. I would love to go back home, but should I. SHBC is amazing and I have somthing to offer the kids. I have never been so at peace as I was at that camp. I cant wait till september iether, providing everything works out, Ill be in Saskatoon interning under my really cool cuzin, Pastor J...I wonder what I will call him...J-Shep, Cuz, Jayson, Hey you, Pastor J, Pastor Jayson, Pastor Sheppard....Pastor Nelson, curriouse, what would he perfer?

I ought to end this before it is past rediculously long....Good night everyone....oh wait, your all asleep...Well I pray it is a deep and restful sleep and for those of you who are nuts, that your dreams are not freaky. Be blessed. This is Captain TraV Man, signing out!