Would you repeat it?

I have not been praying enough, honestly, this comes from a lack of time spent with God. How did that ever happen? I don't really know, these past few weeks I have been though, spending time with God that is. I have come to the same conclusion that I have always come to, that is that I need God and need to be spending time with Him, my Father. So as I try to live out this conclusion, or live up to it, I have been keeping my eyes off the darkness, staying away from the closet, and my attention I have desperately tried to keep out of the silence that is always about me. These three things that I have listed to you are my store houses of evil if you will, the things that I mostly keep between God and I. I have enlightened others as I needed to or as God directed me to, but that was only for the good of others or of myself, not to glorify my ill deeds. I know we all have our messy closets at times, we all slip in to the darkness against our better judgment, and we all heed the silence to often.

My prayers these past few weeks have been for strength and endurance. The race we run is not only long, but at most times very hard. It can be a lot of the things that causes this, the stress's of school, weak physical health, normal friends (non-Christian), work place attitudes (yes, not just yours), short comings on goals, and the big question "What do I want to do with my life?" Well, I don't have any answers that will blow your mind or that will seem like some great epiphany to anyone. Just this, God is bigger than your assignments, stronger than your body, your best friend, has the greatest attitude, never falls short, and knows what you should do with your life. Simply put, seek Him always, just because God doesn't speak to you clearly and shake down the mountains with direction for your life doesn't mean that He doesn't have one. Honor God with all your talents and all your actions, use your resources to grow and glorify His kingdom, and be passionate about the passions he gave you! Nothing crazy.

So, what is to be said about your dark places, your closet, and the silence... well as you seek God whole heartedly, "read your bible and pray every day and you will grow, grow, GROW!" Sound familiar to anyone? Yes, the Sunday school song was literal, you need to read your bible and pray everyday. Time yourself, read one or two chapters of the bible and talk with God for a bit, did it really throw of your time table that much?.... When you do this the light in you will grow! What does light do to the surrounding darkness? It makes it disappear! The closet will get bull-dosed! Lo and behold the silence, yes it will get quieter! Silence can do that apparently.

The one last thing I have to say is, "It's not the lies that you sing, but what the silence will scream." In the end, when you stand there and sing, are your lying than? Or, tell me now, would you dare repeat to the world what the silence screams? I know what my silence screams, and I wont repeat it. (Don't answer my questions here, just in your heart)

This blog was for me, I was praying, and I find it easier to hear what God is saying in my heart when I wear out here on my sleeve. I hope if you read this, it will helped you to.

I'm praying for ya, were all in this together.

Care to tango?

A dance I would love to learn, a dance I would love to dance as long as its with the woman I want and who wants me... of course at that point it would be my wife! Who ever she may be, her and I are going to have a lot of fun together.

However, I am not here to talk about dancing tonight, in fact it has been quite some time since I have come here to talk. I'm sure you have noticed and thus I will stop eloquently pointing out the obvious very soon, but perhaps not yet. I have not had anything good to say on here for quite some time, sure I could no doubt have written some omni-addressed poem or quoted some song, but for that I did not have time or desire. So until now my dear audience I have been as silent, silent but still a voice like the falling rock in a great fissure ever ticking and tapping as it falls against the great rock walls, perhaps this is my smash against its bottom, until now unbound to knowledge.

I come to bring to you an idea, one that I would think I bring from the word. Rather I am or may simply be just bringing the word. Many times in my life, when Christianity is apposed, I have seen it simply hide behind its faith, use scripture to defend itself. I must intervene with myself for just a moment to say that I think there is no flaw with what we have done in the past. I continue... hiding behind your faith is indeed hiding behind God, perhaps even as some worship songs may quote "under your wings". I must ask at this point, is the God we serve a God that would hide behind His shield, or is He the God that would stand up, impervious to attack as He is and simply hurl His shield at His enemy, knocking the wind of him, throwing him to the ground with chest crushing pain? I can see a warrior in our God, and yes I see a God who loves and embraces, but if you care to read the old testament, many of its great characters were great leaders because they were wise, were obedient, or were men of the sword. I'm not saying the next time someone questions your faith that you pull out your bible and chuck it at them. That would be funny but very flawed. I'm saying that if you believe what you read between those leather bindings that you take your stance, show your perfect form, and reveal the Lion of Judah. So to finish I simply quote, "He'll often drop in. Only you mustn't press Him. He's wild, you know. Not like a tame lion."

The short version... If you believe it, you must live it! If you live it, you must always be ready to use it! "Once a King or Queen of Narnia, always a King or Queen. Bear it well, Sons of Adam! Bear it well, Daughters of Eve!" No, you may not yet have your crown, some day you will, but as any noble person should, show your colors, and live up to the code of nobility, for in Gods house he would certainly reward you if you try. Sure trying may be rare among us, fulfilling it may be an uphill battle, but living for God is by far the greatest call to arms of all time.

The idea of dancing, I am to tired to look up it's origin, if it can even be found on the internet. I would have to say though, that any dance that requires precise movement, rhythmic art, and bold stances must have origin upon the field of battle. Where could it be more important to have precise movements, rhythmic aw striking art, and bold stances than in the face of death when in hand to hand combat with your foe? That is just a thought. My MSN name this week... "This is my shield, and no, it won't protect you from me." No that is not a quote, not to my knowledge, but then again what hasn't already been said? If its great, then perhaps it just wasn't written down the first time.

Thus I will Testify

"10 In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. 11 All power to him forever! Amen."

1 Peter 5:10-11 NLT

Some may say that I am taking this verse out of Peter's intended context, and some may be right to assume this. I haven’t met the fellow, but He's out there, we talked about him in class a few times. Peter means to say, "...after you have suffered (been persecuted for our faith) a ..." Which is by all means an amazing thing. To live in a place where I don’t have freedom to live for Jesus, where I would be persecuted for my faith; that would be amazing. I have suffered, but not for my faith, I don’t think. I have suffered because of the "thorn in my flesh" or rather several of them. But alas, I will smile (BIG), I will laugh (oddly), and I will sing to Jesus. Some may say "Where is your Jesus now, isn't he supposed to heal, yet you suffer still? Why would a loving God do this to his child?" Some can sometimes be foolish and other times very smart, but this isn't about some. Jesus does heal, he has healed me before and he will heal again I’m sure. Why do I still suffer you ask, I don’t know, God has used it though, God has brought men to tears through my testimony of his faithfulness to me. Remember this, God did not do this to me, the flesh is weak in many ways, and the wolf will attack the sheep. Do I think this is an attack or just a failure of the flesh? I don’t know, I don’t care. God favors me, and in the end, if you haven’t read it, he wins. I love God, and yes I am a child that he does very much indeed love.

To recap my year with minor detail will take a long time. I don’t want to go in to detail though, but I will recap my year. January 2006, God ask's me, a healthy 17 year old, to let go of Michelle, a girl I was dating at the time, whom I deeply care about. I unwillingly went about doing this after a long fight with God (a tip: God wins, don’t bother fighting for long). Late March, I come home from church one Sunday afternoon and my headache/migraine begins. In that week I follow up with a doctor and he says "a likely cause for something like this to suddenly appear are one of three things, brain damage and you have none, a blood clot/aneurysm which is unlikely for you, and what we will look for is brain cancer." Umm, I thought for a minute, and then went about perusing the look for this, we scheduled an emergency CT (which took a month) and left, on our way I calmed my mom a little, thinking it wouldn't faze me. Time went on, April came, I had the CT and won provincial skills for cabinetry. May came, I lost it, but God had already found me, I turned to Him and he was right there waiting for me. I was thinking... I’m turning 18 in two weeks, I have prom in a week, I’m graduating in June, I don’t want to die now, God please let this be nothing major, heal me of this pain and its cause. I had fun at prom, I turned 18, I had fun at Nationals, CT results came in and they were great, blood results showed that my liver was on its way out. June came and went and I had graduated and done a 30km plus canoe trip with my best friend Steven. I was endeavoring to leave for Simonhouse and I did and was there for six weeks as a councillor, through my back out, was bothered by my head, but I loved it for the most part. I wont get into the parts that I don’t. August and I was home for a week, had a ultrasound to check on my liver and got some more pain suppressant from the doc for my head, then I moved out to Toon Town. Life went on and school was not going well with my head in so much pain, even ended up in the ER for severe pain, so my new doc doubled my dosage and that helped. On I went back to ER because my heart was freaking out, that slowed me down considerably for a week. Things were looking up, I was exhausted and behind, but there was light at the end of tunnel. December came and I hung out for a long weekend with my bro in the Peg, we both got violently ill and flew home but my sis got a car! Exams were actually fun, and I think I did well. The Sunday before I left for T-town had arrived, the night before I finished my last shift cleaning Sterling, and I thought I was going to die because of the pain I was in. I got to church incredibly late, looking utterly terrible, and Nic rushed me to the ER where I was drugged, examined, and rushed to surgery. I didn't go home Monday, but my mommy came down that night and my dad on Tuesday and the wonderful drive home on Wednesday. Of which I remember maybe five hours, one and a half was in a restaurant. I had a wonderfully amazing break, relaxed, had fun, worked a little, felt pain but whatever, and spent lots of time with people I love deeply. January 2007, so I flew back here to Toon town and the pain in my stomach was making a come back, I scheduled an appointment to follow up with my surgeon but ended up in the hospital a little early, you guessed it, ER for the fourth time. The pain was almost unbearable that day, thought maybe something was wrong, turns out there wasn't much wrong, but they kept me there two nights to figure that out, it was just mechanical pain due to sensitive scar tissue. Ok, and I can no longer take pain medication, not until the pain is completely all gone?? Whatever! I had my interview and it went well, looking to be hired on Monday I hope.

Why does all this lead to God being faithful, how does that add up? Well, you didn't hear all the great things that happened you know. God was with me, and he did not for a moment let me go and I knew it, he made sure of it. He has been loving me so much, caring for me, watching out for me, and healing other pains that are not physical but still equally if not more important. He has taught me great things, personally and through others. I know this all to be true, I am glad!

“18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Psalm 34:18 NLT

Did you catch that? The first verse I mean, God will RESTORE, SUPPORT, STRENGTHEN, and PLACE ME ON A FIRM FOUNDATION!!! Isn't that amazing, here I stand, supported and strengthened, and I believe to be restored when God is finished using my pain for his glory, for it was in his pain that we seen great glory, in his act of love, and he will share that in his kindness. And yes I do believe, in these last 12 months, that God has been incredibly kind to me.

I thank you all for your continued prayers, it must get anoying to hear the same old thing again and again, but as God is my stength I will press on and hold fast. This blog was not about my suffering, it was about God's faithfulness, I pray that you would give him glory and praise for that and look to see his faithfullness in your life. You will, and I say will find that he is there.

My heart is on my sleeve?

First, I must warn you, this blog is so true that I was weary of posting it, so I am sorry if what you read here disheartens you, do not feel you must read this or finish it. I don’t know what has brought me here tonight, but I hope with your attention that I might be able to find a few answers for myself. I hope you will excuse the selfish aspects of this exercise. Lately, well for some time now, I have not been the man I want to be, I have not been accomplishing the things I want to do, I have not been moving forward in the direction I need and desire for my life. In fact the complete opposite has been taking place in my life for quite some time now, and I am absolutely disgusted at myself. I am led to so many questions, I will not try to excuse the many selfish acts that I have done these many passed days and months, rather I want to look at myself and the things I have mentioned above, that I want and desire.

I may not be the man I want to be, but am I the man that God intended me to be? Here lies a greater question, am I defined as a man by my actions or by my destination and prize, what I run to? I know that if it were by acts, than I am no measure of a man indeed, but if I am measured by my destination, than I am of quality. But am I someone who can make these judgments on myself? The lack of goals on my list with a check next to them, well, this is not simply a matter of procrastination, but perhaps miss lead agendas. I want to do so many things, and many things I do indeed do, however not all that I do are things I desire to be accomplished or even thought about. Do you see my plight? And my direction, it is backwards rather than forward, towards things I hate rather than where I try so very hard to direct my eyes. Even though my eyes are on the ‘prize’ I know what is behind me, do I walk backwards because of this knowledge? I pray that what I have done and seen in my past would not just simply be forgiven by God, but forgotten by me. Even though I am saved, I remember what I was saved from, and that haunts me. So what does all this add up to? Other than a confused and tired individual, it adds up to a hardened heart. I desire for the lost to be saved, for the sick to be healed and know it is God. But I do not feel it in my heart, I do not know the urgency that drives so many to do what they are called to do. Here lay’s my next question, does God have a purpose with/for a young man whom has a hardened heart? Is there a place for me in the kingdom of God, a spot where I can accomplish the will God has for my life by His strength? I know that it is His strength, my own ran out months ago, without God I would be a mess, burnt out, sick, and useless. This is some of what has been on my mind. I think it of greater importance than my future. Surly that is important, but if I am not spiritually on track, what right do I have seeking out the will of God for my future? I was called to Saskatoon some months ago, and so I came, but I have lost the voice, I hear it no longer, so I will remain since that is what I was told to do, even though I am cut off from the one who told me to come. I do believe I am saved and in Christ, I just can’t hear Him. I may have been to hard on myself in some things, but in others I am sure I am right… it is me I am talking about, I’m beginning to wonder how well I know myself. I may not be the one to diagnose myself either, in fact, I am not qualified at all, the only qualified one is God, but can I not still be right even though unqualified?

I do not expect to find answers here, but I needed to bring some order to my thoughts. Someone some time ago said I have a well disciplined mind and thought life, that may have been true than, but I lost it, maybe my mind, but definitely the discipline. If you do not feel compelled by God to put answer's here, don’t. I am hurting enough, but if in your wisdom, you see answers, than give them. I take nothing at worth until it has been on the alter at the feet of God, until it can be proven there, it will not find a home in me. And please, comment at will.

“If the righteous are barely saved, what will happen to godless sinners?”
Proverbs 11:31 Greek Version

5.56X45mm Brass Full Metal Jacket and a $35000 White Gold w/ Three Diamonds

I hope that makes some sense of where this Blog is going. I put allot of research into that you know. For those of you who aren’t familiar with ammunitions, a 5.56X45mm (also known as .223 Remington) Brass Full Metal Jacket is a bullet, a bullet that is fired from a M16A2 Semi-Auto/Auto Rifle that is commonly used by infantry. A $35000 ring is made up out of a 14 carat white gold band and three 1.06 carat diamonds. Now why would these two items have anything to do with one another? Well, here is the thing, I am a romantic by nature, I am a soldier by design. There you have it, the design of a loving companion bread out of a killer? Well not quite, perhaps we'll say a fighter. Soldiers don’t kill, they fight, bombs and bullets kill. Anyway, on with the Blog, enough about the details. So what’s the point to all this?

You see, as a kid I had always wanted to be Military; rather, a Pilot in the Air Force, but that idea got scratched by the almighty, so I went for ministry in stead. I stand by my call to share the gospel on a grand scale to young people, but I can not ignore my heart that cries out to be a soldier, and it always has done so. So, what do I do....? To make things more difficult, who wants to marry a soldier that finds excitement in the idea of sticking himself in situations where he may be within inches of flying bullets and shrapnel? Few ladies, I am sure, fall under that category when it comes to the perfect guy. But I can’t settle into an office, not when my heart roams the battle field. Ahh! It plagues me I tell you; perhaps this soldier business is best brought up next time I have a sit down with J. And for the ring business, she'll be lucky if it breaks five grand, never mind thirty five, and besides, I am not getting married anytime soon, need the girl first, not that I am looking for her. I am looking for my path! So, here is some soldier poetry for ya...

There I stood with my men abreast,

Leading the attack, courage burned in my armored chest.

Now the order to move hath been given so on we march,

The men’s faces stiff with fear as if with starch.

So the field was swallowed in black soon with dead,

They see our hearts, our soul’s eyes dread.

Archers make ready drawing arrows from quiver,

Soon we make a blood red flowing from flesh river.

We see our Calvary galloping as swords take flight from sheath,

Suddenly we hear a pounding echo, it’s the depths deep beneath.

They call out to us in awe of our infamous name,

These are the cries of the men we once killed for blame.

Somehow with what strength we began to run,

God must have pushed us, blinding enemy with sun.

Suddenly my sword took life and pierced deep,

All seemed too easy as if it were the slaughter of sheep.

The Calvary continued on and took up the rear flank,

Still my blade swung, deep into enemy blood I sank.

There lines so quickly swarmed began to fall and break,

It was water beating on the rocks in a dream so very fake.

The end of the battle seemed not so distant now,

None of my men were killed, by Gods grace some how.

The Calvary had rounded up enemy survivors for death,

Even in execution there was no fear on their breath.

The men were pleased with such a fine victory,

We made our way for camp, soon to smell sweet hickory.

The celebrations begun and they continued on quite long,

But still deep within me a Generals heart had no song.

Good night gang... my plague is subdued... for now.

TraV

An update

Hey gang,

So things are not going so well this time around the block. I wanted to let you all know, since I dont get to talk to many of you these days, what is going on with me. I am still at CPC learning bible stuff, let me tell you, I am learning some great stuff there, loving every bit of it. But there is that problem of homework, you see I am not getting all that I need to have done done and handed in, the thing is, Im not getting a great deal done at all. God called me here this year to work with M:180, I firmly believe that, He never said anything about attending CPC this perticular year. And as great a school as I have found it to be, and knowing many great people who have come out of this school prior to attending it, I still felt that it wasn't for me this year. So why am I going? Well, to tell you the truth, it was by recomendation of the boss that I am attending, I was not at all thrilled, but sugestions around here I've come to notice are not really suggestions. Ofcourse, I wwould like not to face another semester of this, but I have to right now it seems.... or do I? I will think about that and get back to you on it.

So why is this all so hard. Well, to be honest once more I do not know how Ashlee is dooing all that she does. It blows me out of the water how strong and determined she is to take on all that lays before her. All the power to ya girl. For those of you who dont know, Ashlee is a fellow intern here at Lawson with M:180 youth ministries and she is dooing a great job. So what is my excuse if she is dooing more than I? I dont know really, but here is the scoop, I dont think it is enough of a reason, but maby I am hard on my self. I am still dealing with this Migrane/headache pain thingy, its there 24/7 constantly causing me unbelievable amounts od discomfort at times, other times it just hurts, and rearely it imcompasatates me from dooing anything what so ever. So I guess making my head pain the center of attention for nine months has made my condition jealouse, and it now wants some of the spot light. For those of you who dont know, I have a condition called Neurocardiogenic Syncope... its not helpful. For the past three days it has been at me, trying to take me down, even now I am having trouble. It likes to make me stop everything I am dooing, even to black out at some points, not cool. Thus far I have been able to slow down and prevent such a black out from occuring, but at this rate I think it is only inevitable that will black out. So is that reason enough, maby, I think I am buisy, and because of the prior I need a lot more rest between activities, I feel like an old man to be honest. One more thing, My docter thinks it is a good ideah to up the dosage on my Pain Supressing medication, it's Amitriptilyne, she doubled it. The thing is is that it has some pretty crazy affects, I have not had any encounters with them before, but today it did affect me a litle. So if you notice please let me know if I am acting a litle wonky, I dont want to be feeling crazy side affects if I a can take other medicatons, more expensive ones, but they are side affects never the less.

So, on to the financial situation. Turns out that I wont be getting my student loan just yet, the one piece of info they want that they said they woudn't be needing they want it now before they realease any funds. So before I let them, I may be able to get out of it. But that will mean no CPC next semester, I get stuck with a three thousand dollar growing debt to the school and no money for africa. Chances are I will be getting them the info they want pronto. And thus I will be in school and africa next semester. I am trying to find another Job, this cleaning buisness is a litle to much to late in the day for me to be dooing right now to be honest with you. Great news, for which I am so very thankfulf for, by bro and sister in Law Leah are now sponsering me, they gave me one hundred dollars yesterday. Such a blessing, my phone bill was due to be paid tomorow and I had six dollars. They wanted to be providing a litle for me for a while now, but until now they were not able. Thank you so much Ty and Leah, you are amazing and I know god will bless you and your ministry there in Deep River Ontario. Love you both deeply. (yes I do talk with them other that this, but I dont know if they read this blog).

On to my life stuff. I am still single, I am still not looking... and thus I am to try and live that way... harder than I thought but I will try harder now. I have many great and awesome friends here in toon town and many in many other places around the country. Love you all dearly and I thank you for your prayers and support. I know I am going through a hard time, but God is with me and I know that your prayers have been my strength in many ways these past few months. Hopefully these alements will pass soon and I will be free to do my homework and laugh and play and all those other great things.


M:180 youth ministries is going well for me, I hope I am still dooing well for it. I can only do what God enables me to do though, that is the truth that I hold to and so I look to God that I may be of help to this ministry as much as God is able through me. We just did another Impact trip, this time to Carlyle SK, it was awesome, my second trip and I loved it greatly. Well, I think I am going to go now, J's office is a mess and I can something about it while I have strength, I may need to lie down after, but oh well. I am still supposed to be young, and I will act like it for as long as I can put on an act right!

Tootles one and all, love you all and I am greatful for your support and prayers. We here at Lawson can always use some extra prayer and support, Like Pastor John says, you cant have spiritual results if yoru not dooing the spiritual work... I think he says that. ofcourse we are praying, but more praying is always welcomed.

Oh, Ps: I am feeling much better mentally from the last two blogs I have left. Needed to come before God like I did this morning, no doubt once more my friends prayers were of help to me. Thank you again.

Explanation anyone?

I wish I had one. I really do, the thing is is that I am confused to, and thus I will be vague untill I figure it all out myself.
"I thought but I was wrong"
I thought my heart troubles were gone, but they're back.
"I didn't but I should have"
Talk, I didn't talk or say what needed to be said.
"I did and shouldn't have"
I assumed some things were what I interpreted them to be, but clearly God has other things in mind.
"I took and it was not mine"
It's simple, I stole, not physical possesions, but emotional things, things like hope and feelings of security, took them for my own, and I see now that was wrong.
"I wouldn't listen and I should have been listening to you all along, so please just talk to me then"
God is always trying to talk to us when we need to hear Him, but I wasn't listening when I needed it the most, and now I really want to hear what He has to say.

Thanx Brittany, prayer acomplishes miracles and hugs bring so many other things.

Now you may all understand a litle more of how confused I am? That makes sence deosn't it!
Im going to bed.

I am so very confused. I thought but I was wrong, I didn't but I should have, I did and shouldn't have, I took and it was not mine. I wouldn't listen and I should have been listening to you all along, so please just talk to me then. I am so very confused.

A Devo I wanted to share.

Romans 12:9-13

”9Love must be sincere.”

These four words need to ring as truth in my life, I say need to. How often it is that I am just doing things out of kindness and hospitality, but leaving out that genuine love of Christ that I say I share and needs to be shared to reach the lost.

“Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.

10Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.

Honor one another above yourselves.”

The second part of verse nine is very self explanatory, but how often I find myself loving what is evil and avoiding what is good. Again I must see more into these verses. “Be DEVOTED to one another in LOVE” Umm, when was the last time I counted myself as devoted to my Christian brothers and sisters. Sure I try to be there for you, but am I devoted like Christ was, like the one I try to be so much like. I know I don’t honor you more than myself nearly as often as I should, but then, how much do I do things to honor God rather than myself?

“11Never be lacking in zeal,

but keep your spiritual fervor,

serving the Lord.”

I lack zeal, what fervor can be accounted to me…. I serve the Lord though right? I am not nearly excited enough about doing this, about living for the Lord most high. He chose us, to go share the gospel, a holy priesthood, don’t let anyone doubt us; walk in faith, Christ will be our strength in all things. Get excited about this! Do you think you have zeal in serving God? Are you following Him with fervor in your faith? Am I faithful, or am I a harlot with my trust in what I do and who I serve?

“12Be joyful in hope,

patient in affliction,

faithful in prayer.”

Do I take joy in the hope that I have been given through the death of Jesus? This is a hope that I might live eternally and not die. I have been given life! Am I joyful with this gift people? Or am I simply doing it? This isn’t some Nike add, this is Christianity, we don’t just do it, we are to love the life we have been given and live it loving others. I know I can be more patient in my affliction, I am like a child. I sit there anxious looking to God for the answers and for the point of it all, and I want it now, I don’t want to enjoy this pain or use it, just heal me and let me have that as a testimony. Oh, I am so not faithful in prayer, maybe to everything but God, and maybe when I pray to God it’s for everything but what I should be praying about, for everything but who I should be praying for.

“13Share with God's people who are in need.

Practice hospitality.”

Well, we all know I have so much that I can share…. Or am I reading this right? What could the brethren possibly be in need of, money? As much as spreading around the wealth can be helpful, maybe we ought to share our time and love, or efforts and hospitality, our wisdom and biblical knowledge. There is so much more on this world than material things that we can share when we have brothers and sisters in need.

Colossians 3:12-17

“12Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”

Again, did you catch that, “as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved,” we are chosen, we are made holy by Christ. He chose to die for you and me, so that we could be made holy and know day in and out that we are loved. Do I live out the compassion God had for me to others that need it? Am I kind to those who rebuke me or the stranger passing by? Am I humble in what I have been given for talents and gifts not only before God, but before the world, or do they see me as arrogant and prideful? Am I gentle with the weak and needy? Am I patient with the fool who will not listen or understand or the guy in front of me in heavy traffic?

13Bear with each other and forgive

whatever grievances you may have against one another.

Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

When I am upset by you, do I sit there in patience, or do I ignore you and keep my distance. Do I bear with the young Christian who knows no better, or with the person who does not know how to socialize with people like I do? How often am I quick to forgive? Am I like the God who forgave me?

14And over all these virtues put on love,

which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

Oh, the icing on the perfect Christian cake, when you have done all this, just love. It is the nails in the ship, without them your kindness and hospitality will be hollow and fall apart before you. If you do all this, have “compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience,” without love the world and the Christian family will know, and they will be hurt, not by you, but for you. At least that’s how it should be, don’t be insulted by the angry brother or sister who lashes out, but hurt for them like God does, this is how you love, this is how they will find healing, “for love heals all things.”

“15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts,

since as members of one body you were called to peace.

And be thankful.

16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly

as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom,

and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs

with gratitude in your hearts to God.”

What peace have I allowed in my heart, do I not enjoy the confusion that is within? “I mean it is my excuse to sin, when I go too far with my girl friend, I can blame it on the confusion inside. I don’t want the peace of God. This turmoil helps me rebuke the foolish brother and sister and still I receive compassion from the rest because I am hurting.” That would be foolish, take the peace that lies before us, it is a gift, delivered swiftly and with LOVE by the spirit of God that dwells within you. “AND BE THANKFUL.” I think there is a reason Paul made that its own sentence. “Let the word of Christ dwell in you RICHLY.” Does it, is it there when you are called to minister to one another, or do you take the time to read it and know it as the WORD OF GOD? I don’t, but I know I should, it says so in the bible you know. “…with gratitude in your hearts.” Do not only worship having full knowledge of the bible, having it dwell richly in your heart, but also worship with gratitude. I know I’ve had that wrong for a long time.

17And whatever you do,

whether in word or deed,

do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus,

giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Do it in the name of Jesus, hold up! “There are some things we like to do that we can’t do in the name of Christ. It’s sinful.” As you live and do, before every act, think, “I am doing this for your name God.” Maybe we would screw up much less than we do? Than God would be present in all that we do. And again, “…giving thanks to God the Father through him.” That is through Jesus. Oh, and again, give thanks! I think there is reason enough for myself to do that.

Now, go and pray.
Your Friend,
TraV

My Questions?

If I am where I am supposed to be... why do I feel so out of place?
For a drummer who can keep a rythem...why am I so off beat?
I think I am a poet with an open heart... why do I feel that nobody knows me?
They said I have excellent discipline and a sound mind... why am I so confused?


To think that maby, just maby the outside could bleed its way in. That that peace and love, kindness and trueness of heart could be mine with a simple touch.... I am unsettled.